bookpillows:

A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki

Rating: ★★

In Tokyo, sixteen-year-old Nao has decided there’s only one escape from her aching loneliness and her classmates’ bullying. But before she ends it all, Nao first plans to document the life of her great grandmother, a Buddhist nun who’s lived more than a century. A diary is Nao’s only solace—and will touch lives in ways she can scarcely imagine.

Across the Pacific, we meet Ruth, a novelist living on a remote island who discovers a collection of artifacts washed ashore in a Hello Kitty lunchbox—possibly debris from the devastating 2011 tsunami. As the mystery of its contents unfolds, Ruth is pulled into the past, into Nao’s drama and her unknown fate, and forward into her own future.

I’ll just come right out and say it. This book does not deserve the prasie it is getting. The plot is great but as I actually got along reading the book, I hated it. Ozeki does a wonderful job creating the voices of Nao and Ruth. During Nao parts, it was clear that a teen was speaking and while reading Ruth parts, it felt like a woman was speaking. 

Ozeki writes a compelling story, for Nao that is. As a reader, I praised her, cried her, felt joy for her, and at some moments I truly hated her (but more on that later). This is wear the praise ends. When I initially started the book, I loved it but as I continued to read I enjoyed the book less and less. The book has a few flaws that prevented me from giving it a higher rating:

1. The ending. The ending was terrible. I felt like the end of the books was too much about Ruth and not about Nao. The ending should have been Nao’s ending, not Ruth’s.
2. Ozeki lacked subtlety. I felt like she was shoving her political views down my throat through out the entire book. I don’t care if share the same views, I don’t need to read about them.
3. Nao’s actions. Nao’s actions in the second half made her look more like a selfish brat than a girl suffering through bully, culture shock, and her own family issues. There is one scene where her father attempts suicide. When he returns home from the hospital, Nao gives him a noting basically saying that if he is going to kill himself do it right next time. From that moment on, I hated her. I wanted slap her after reading that. I honestly stopped feeling sorry for her after this moment. I felt like her actions towards her father were terrible. It left a bad taste me my mouth.
4. Ruth’s sections. They honestly could have taken out about 200 pages of this books. I felt like Ruth parts were unnecessary. This was Nao’s story in my opinion, not Ruth’s. 

I didn’t like this book. It wasn’t quite worth one-star but it wasn’t that good either.

GOODREADS

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Oh my god, did you seriously say a 15 year old girl who was nearly raped and had said video posted online, and then has to deal with her dad commiting suicide over A HORRIFIC THING THAT HAPPENED TO HER- a selfish brat for lashing out? Did you seriously? Like you can’t even look at yourself and thing “wow gee if i was teenager who was sexually assaulted, had the video posted online and then had my fucking underwear bought by a pervert I sure wouldn’t be angry at my dad for adding onto the horrible trauma i was going through by trying to commit suicide over this HORRIBLE THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME AND NOT HIM”

Like you seriously have no sympathy for rape and trauma victims. They’re supposed to act like perfect little angels and not resent anyone at all.

Yes in this situation I have all the sympathy in the world for Nao’s father. But I have even more sympathy for Nao, who dealt with a (frankly to the point it cracked my suspension of disbelief someone wouldn’t do something or cut her a fucking break) amount of shit. Of course she would be fucking sick of having yet another thing to deal with. She knew her father was perfectly aware of how much his first suicide attempt hurt her. Are you forgetting that immediately after this she makes the decision to kill herself? You’re seriously blaming a suicidal teenager who is a victim of sexual assault and endless fucking abuse for lashing out at her father who has just added to the crushing weight of depression and horror that her life has become. 

Man I try not to start arguments with random people but I can’t. This complete lack of empathy people have for victims unless they act like “good victims” astounds me and horrifies me because I know this behavior carries over into real life. Victims who lash out and actually act damaged are hated and all sympathy goes out the window.

Man you guys know I was super into the Ruth Ozeki book I found, and I’m still going to finish it.

but then a scene happened that just made it…

definitely not going to be a top ten book for me

which is sad because it was really close to being one

It’s more of a thing REALLY not suited to my tastes. The whole book was fairly depressing, it discussed suicide in-depth as well as pretty terrible bullying. But this was just…too horrible and over the top and I dunno, I can see it as something that COULD happen, but I really think it could have been toned down. A lot. It just made me feel like such complete shit

after reading it. Like “no, this is too much”. Apparently there’s a certain line of depressing for me and when it’s crossed it just like no. I can’t stand this.

I really wish books could come with trigger warnings, bc I could barely sleep after it.

Discussion of really graphic sexual assault, near-rape of a minor, menstruation and suicide behind the cut.

Basically Nao (short for Naoko) one of the main characters and POV characters was being bullied very badly by her classmates. She’d stopped getting her period bc of the stress, but suddenly got it after a year. She went to the bathroom, and her classmates cornered her. They tied her up, yanked her skirt over her head and then took her underwear off while videotaping it.  She was bleeding everywhere of course. They commanded this one boy to rape her for the video and he got naked and got on top of her, but then got scared and ran away. She played dead and the rest of the kids ran away too, though they took her underwear. 

Later, they put the video online and emailed her the link, and also put her bloodstained underwear for auction on a hentai site. Her dad (who was already suicidal) saw it and tried to outbid the guy trying to buy her underwear, but ran out of money. After which he attempted suicide.

Like, am I just too sensitive for thinking that’s way fucking over the top? I’m sure it’s possible a situation like that could happen (certainly there are a video taped gang rapes), but that thing with her dad and the fact the kids somehow wouldn’t get caught despite uploading the video on a public site- and I dunno, it just went over the line for me. The book was having the right balance of being depressing but not so much I didn’t look forward to reading it and now…

I mean I think it WAS put in there to make a point- these kids had been bulliying her and no one did shit about it, so naturally it escalated  to there. It’s trying to make you feel like shit to make a point about how harmful it is to allow bullying. But I basically already know that teachers ignore bullying and then is escalates to sexual assault sometimes BECAUSE THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN HIGH SCHOOL, though obviously to a way less horrific extent. So I really didn’t need to be told that, and it was fucking depressing to be reminded. I don’t want to be reminded. So part of the problem might be not being the target of this message. 

I dunno, I’m so sick of  graphic rape or near-rape scenes in general. This was written by a half-Japanese woman and it wasn’t at all fetishized or presented as a motivation for anything (other than her father’s attempted suicide and her dropping out of school) so it isn’t the case of “wow look another guy putting in a gratuitous rape scene” and WHO KNOWS it could even be based off an actual experience and if so I would never tell her she shouldn’t have written it.

but we see them so much

i’m just so sick of it regardless. I’m so sick of it. That’s why I’ll never ever write one.

Sigh.

Revolutionary Girl Utena Episode 14 Review- “The Boys of the Black Rose” with spoilers

Episode 14! 

We’re introduced to brand new characters for this new arc. What’s interesting is the two of them look like cis dude versions of Anthy and Utena- Mikage has Utena’s pink hair and Mamiya has Anthy’s skin tone,eye color and bindi. Moreover, Mikage actually wants to supplant Utena and Anthy and make Mamiya his Rose Bride. And KILL Anthy to do it (Man, Utena is way meaner as a dude. Well, that’s just how dudes on this show are.) He insists on Bride even when Mamiya points out he’s a boy. Guess we know the nature of their relationship. 

Really Utena? She disappears every Saturday night and you’ve just now bothered to find out? And you weren’t aware she had a brother? Of course, judging by the last episode, Utena has asked about it before and Anthy plain didn’t answer the question and changed the subject. I wonder why Anthy confesses so easily now? The time must be right for them to meet, I guess. 

We find out red shirt from last episode is Anthy’s brother, Akio Ohtori. The reason he has a different last name from Anthy is the Ohtori family has taken him in- in Japan, if the family is super prominent, the dude will take the lady’s last name. 

Akio is fascinated with the stars, in uncovering the secrets of far-off places. It’s interesting to note that stars are kind of illusionary- it’s commonly said the stars we see in the sky, a lot of them have already died in reality. Very interesting for Akio, who is definitely keeping up a facade. 

Kanae jokes that he might have gotten into her family just to get at the Ohtori facilities, but considering his connection the Prince and plans to awaken him, I can’t help but wonder if that’s true. Is having a place at Ohtori and control of the facilities really important to Akio’s plans?What’s interesting about this is that stars are sort of illusions- there’s the common thought that many of the stars we see now have already died in far off space. 

Kanae is creeped out by Anthy and her passive-aggressiveness like whoa. Anthy says to Utena she’s keeping being the Rose Bride from Akio- whether that’s the case or not, Akio definitely knows about the Rose Bride and the duels so, uh…someone clearly told him. 

And 100 boys were buried alive in Nemuro Memorial hall. In addition to being completely oblivious to Akio, Utena was unaware of this too. What kind of bubble does this girl live in? 

Here we’re introduced to Mikage’s modus operandi. He locks the person in an elevator and through some creepy form of induced confession, strips the person down to their core fears. As their pretensions and masks are stripped away, we see a butterfly devolving into a caterpillar and then a leaf (caterpillars eat leaves, so yeah that’s how deep we’re going to the “source”) 

In Kanae’s case, she is disturbed by Anthy. She notices that Anthy’s smiles tend to be fake, she notices Anthy’s passive aggressiveness, and she’s even taken to blaming Anthy for her father’s illness (tbh that’s more likely Akio’s doing) . She’s terrified of her on deep level. Mikage tells her her only choice is to change the world so her fears are dashed. 

Mikage’s whole black rose shtick seems to be connected to the 100 dead boys- he claims they were duelists and that the emotionally damaged people he’s stripped to their core are to take their place. It should be noted that in the remastered DVDs we see the corpses of the dead boys, but in the original we don’t. It seems almost like Mikage is infusing these ordinary people with the power of the souls of the departed. Kanae’s scene is incredibly creepy and horror movie-tastic. She gets scared and tries to run away, but Mamiya stabs her with the Rose and takes her over. It looks quite painful. 

The Shadow girls take on a different tack this arc, and we see Utena actually acknowledging them. There’s a play about the problem, and Utena gives her typical straightforward answer. In this case, the girl laments about how growing up means she gets a wisdom tooth and what she should do about it, and Utena’s answer is “get rid of it”. Of course, this is the answer Kanae found to the problem in her impending mairriage and problem with Anthy- “get rid of it”. Simple answers are more brutal than they seem in this case. 

Kanae’s duel is surrounded by desks with black vases of white lilies. There’s many interpretations for what this could mean- a post by yomigaere on tumblr points out that “In Japan, when a student passes away, a vase of flowers is traditionally placed on the deceased student’s desk. When such a vase is placed on a living student’s desk, however, it’s a bullying tactic that basically amounts to saying “I wish you would drop dead” (They also posit that Akio placed them there for Kanae, considering it’s implied he kills her later). 

Razara on Ohtori.nu posts “The first thing that you should notice is that they’re very similar to her hair color. They’re white flowers, the color of purity, yet they’re held inside of a black vase. In Christianity, lilies symbolize the resurrection of Christ, perhaps relating to how she is a pawn in the game to resurrect the Power of Dios. 

Generally, they symbolize purity, chastity, and innocence. Kanae is the daughter of the chairman, born into a wealthy family, and so she is expected to act in a certain manner. They’re flowers, and so they could also relate to the park in the picture of Akio, Anthy, and herself, which undoubtedly plays a big role in her motivation to fight. 

She shatters the vases of lilies, destroying her false self that she had been playing as all this time, or a gesture related to her battle to kill the Rose Bride. 

It should also note that lilies are gifted at weddings, so there’s also Kanae’s desire to marry Akio. 

There are also outlines for fallen corpses on the ground, obviously representing the 100 dead boys. 

Anthy seems to automatically get that Kanae’s been brainwashed, while Utena has to have it explained to her. 

Kanae talks about this being her “true self” and the duel song discusses “good and evil” sides being in everything, showing that this is the hateful self Kanae keeps buried. “Though it’s false, keep my treasure close…this is the battle form”- in this case, referring to the black rose.. The black rose may control Kanae and make Kanae lose control of herself, but it’s her treasure because it allows her to release her inhibitions and fight. It might also refer to her keeping her relationship to Akio- which we see at the end of the episode is bult on lies. 

Kanae collapses onto the outline of the body, and then this body is literally sacrificed into the incinerator by Mikage- it really does seem to be that the Black Rose duelists are powered by the souls of these dead men. Why does Mikage have such power? 

Kanae conveniently doesn’t remember anything, so Utena can’t find out what’s going on. Then comes the reveal…oh boy… 

Chu-Chu doesn’t want to go to Anthy with her brother’s and WHO CAN BLAME HIM. It’s something he seems terrified to witness. If you go by the idea Chu-Chu can represent Anthy’s true feelings, maybe she doesn’t enjoy this very much either…but we’ll have to see about that. 

What we do know is what happens between Anthy and Akio is framed as incredibly creepy, as it should be. The music that plays during it is chilling. Akio looks positively wolfish as he beckons for Anthy with his shirt opened, and Anthy has that careful, blank smile on her face- the one that creeped Kanae out. It’s definitely not the true smile we’ve seen her give Utena a couple times. They’re shrouded in darkness, and Anthy answers Akio is her flat voice. 

While I’ve said Miki and Nanami’s issues with sibling infatuation seem to be framed as them clinging to their childhood innocence, there is nothing childish or innocent about what’s going on between Akio and Anthy. It’s framed as sinster and wrong and horrifying.

Yet like Miki and Nanami, Anthy staying in this cycle with her brother IS related to fear of growing up, and entering the outside world. Anthy and Akio stay in this cycle because they want to stay in a stasis, they don’t want to emerge from their coffins, they feel they have only each other to rely on.

And while this goes on, Utena sleeps, entirely oblivious and innocent