Erin is thinking about how she wants Lilan to live in happiness and wants to see it, when she finally remembers her mother’s last words to her- “stay alive and find happiness”.
Suddenly, she realizes her feelings for Lilan are like her mother’s feelings for her. Her mother also pushed her away to protect her, She is forcing Lilan to see the death of a parent like she saw her mother’s death. But unlike her mother, she does have a choice. She has a chance to see Lilan’s happiness the way her mother couldn’t see hers. She realizes, on the brink of death, that she wants to live- to honor her mother and her mother’s wishes, and to make sure Lilan has a parent.